Alaba Oluwadamilarey Samuel

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT LIVE WITH YOUR PARENT FOR A LONG TIME AFTER SERVICE YEAR

National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) is a good experience for all privileged graduates in Nigeria. It is a program that came into existence in 1973 after the Nigeria civil war in order to bring about national integration. Then, the hopes of getting a befitting job by graduates of tertiary institutions in Nigeria are higher compared  to the present time. In fact, it is no gainsaying that our dear nation has been under the siege of oppression, youth’s unemployment, under-employment, sociopolitical and economic problems for a while. 

Yet, are we to say that government at all level are not aware of the travails of all graduates or they just don't care at all? Whatever the answer is, the fact still remains that the level of unemployment is still increasing on daily basis in Nigeria. According to National Bureau of Statistics, the Nigeria unemployment stands at 22.45 million as job loss hits 710,693 annually as of 2017 last quarter for the year. Over the years, I have been observing some interesting scenario in Nigeria and I couldn’t but speak out my mind on why I think it is not advisable for most graduates of tertiary institutions to stay longer than expected with their parents after NYSC year. Take a look below at my residual verdict;

It belittles your personal growth and mental reasoning;-

Majority of Nigerian parents hardly support their children’s hurdles after the service year because they are fond of believing the token sum of N19,800 Federal allowance should be enough to augment one’s earning during the service year. Come to think of it, if you are posted to a far village or a town where the cost of living is high, the expenses are likely to  be high, and  if your place of primary assignment is not paying stipend, then I assume you could hardly have a reasonable savings, not to even talk about investment. That’s is why most Corp members usually involve in some petty business, such as selling recharge cards, unisex wears itinerary, confectionery and event decoration etc, just to survive. Although it is usually painful when most parents don't understand this, instead of being supportive, majority demoralizes one's hustling spirit.

It may make you become carefree about widening your horizon;-

When you still live under your parent’s roof after service year, your zeal and passion for widening your professional career growth and hustling might be retarded. The reason is that you might not think faster to settle down for a host of projects. After all, you are being fed by them, even though you might be working elsewhere, just to survive. Yet, you just have to get hell out of there before it is too late! You cannot remain in a single spot; you need to upgrade your skills and certifications as soon as possible. Remember, time wait for no one.  

            It could likely increase your expenses:-

Contrary to many people’s opinion that when you live with your family after NYSC year, you can easily manage cost because you are enjoying the warm reception of your parent. Whereas it is a lie! This is because of no matter the population in the house you cannot live together without paying some bills regardless of how jobless or underpaid you are.  Except one is shameless. Compared to how easily it could be more economical if you are living alone. Hence, you will discover that with time, your expenses on bills may rise even if you have more than two menial jobs. Sometimes, if you have many underage children in the house, you may have to subscribe on Digital satellites network in order to make the house lively. What about filling of gas cylinder for cooking, prepaid electricity bills, security and vigilante's dues, etc. if you live alone, all these could be easily managed without stress.

You are likely to be pressurized to impromptu marriage:-

Here, ladies are usually vulnerable because upon return from service after a year the expectations of parents are usually higher especially the mothers. They have a strong belief that, even if you are too busy during your undergraduate days to the extent that you couldn’t find a life partner, service year should provide the alternative for a serious relationship. It should be noted that not all parents fall under this category because some well to do parents usually advised their children to pursue their master’s degree programme before getting married. Yet, a vast majority of African parents believed that women's prime is shorter than that of men. Therefore, the majority usually pester their children to get married early.  

Even though on the part of men, some parents support their hustling but never get carried away in any form because they used to say that, no man is ever ready to settle down on time unless they are being forced, provided that they have a good business and career which support their family without stress. 

It breeds an intrusion of privacy:

On most occasions, I have seen a lot of people who complained bitterly that their parents do not understand why they prefer to stay silent on certain issues at times. As one reach age 25, the reasoning of a responsible young adult must be well structured and understood by parents, not as an act of disrespect.

As a young adult, there are times when one has to make strong decisions that require no parental consultation. But some parent still expects their young graduates around that corner to inform them on almost all decisions. Are we to talk about choosing a marital partner, deciding on when to settle down, business ideas, spiritual warfare to the range of salary one is earning. Oops! That's never done! I am aware that no matter how older a child is, he or she still remains a child to the parent, but there are exemptions because I am of the opinion that young adults should be given respect in respect of making decisions pertaining to certain issues.

Bill Gate once said “To dream bigger and attain greatness, you must be ready to take big risks” likewise another famous Hollywood actor, Jason Statham opined that" Take risks wherever you can, if you win, you will happy, if you lose, you will be wiser.” Going by this view, whatever the answer or outcome, the result is always to gain knowledge. So, you need to stop living with your parent as soon as possible after the NYSC  programme. Try and network with your reliable old buddies from school try new things, secure affordable apartment together if you cannot afford it alone while you sort yourself later. My friend starts something now! You just have to start from somewhere because if you do not do that now, you will continue to rigmarole on a spot. 

Nevertheless, one still needs parental guidance on certain issues because they are more experienced. Fine! That is cool, isn't it? But they should not impose their will on their young people. 

You may lose your dignity with time regardless of your responsibility: 

Take it or leave it, no prophet amounts to any substance in his homestead. I know the economy of our dear nation has been very bad. From budget paddling to inflation and unemployment, I know how hard it has become for some families to have three square meals a day. Fine! But hey! You still have to get out of that place as soon as you fixed something better out there. Look here, your dignity has limitation and once it passes that grace period, the problem erupts while it leads to other things. For ladies as soon as you reach age 25 and 28 for guys, the pressure of “Quarter life crisis” sets in: the pressure of thinking ahead comes into being. You become so beclouded with a lot of things such as career pursuit, family breeding, business ideas generation, marriage and lot more. So, if you still live under your parent roof this time, the majority of people including parents might not understand and if you don’t act fast to achieve certain things that time, you begin to lose your honors gradually unless you spread your tentacles.

Come on! You got to take a deep breath and leave the house for a while by engaging yourself in productive activities such as internship, volunteering, and courses on digital skills, probably online certification, trade fairs, career fun fare and a lot more just to equip yourself ahead of the unknown challenges in the saturated labor market. Little wonder, many young graduates quickly settle for various vocational and skills acquisition programme in the recent time than before. Some have embarked on learning tailoring/ fashion designing, automobile and bike spare parts, shoemaking, cakes, and confectionery, ushering and event planning, beads making, liquid soap production, costume, and makeup, traditional masters of ceremony (alaga iduro) for engagement and marriage in Yoruba land. What about the supermarket and itinerary skills just to mention but a few.

Will you blame them when our governments have failed to provide good employment opportunities over the years? Despite the fact that many civil servants are retiring every year, the government has failed to employ the able youths to fill the vacuum because of their selfish desires. Nigerian youths are helpless and they have to survive by all means. I am not surprised at how disdainful and shocking President Buhari labeled us lazy people recently because it shows how callous our leaders are. What a shame! So, as fresh graduates, you need to leave the house as soon as you can. I mean after a while so that your parent can accord you the due respect you deserved because if you don’t do that now, a time is coming that frustration will set in to disrupt all your ideas. 

As a potentially blessed youth, I remain convinced that Nigerian graduates deserves the best of treatment and should be accord due respect anytime, anywhere and in any situation because we are not lazy. We are creative, hardworking, visionary and astute in all our dealings. To all youths out there, your destiny lies in your hands, so be a goal getter and avoid staying too long with your parent after service year because you deserve something better than hiding under their roof.

GOD BLESS OUR HUSTLES